naked #1

the same small shout that pierced beyond the stagnating trials of woes clung to the inside of my head as I stood swimming in my chest to grapple with this constriction panting enough peace to grow a day into a year vexing enough vice to throw away every last tear God damn my body it works for the woes of my soul may God damn my mind for it races even at night trying to bring me to your absence LORD just damn my fingers they crawl across the longest stretches of a stray and God damn my eyes they peer into nothing but greed asphyxiating your good creation
But Holy God you refuse the inclinations of my heart prone to violence and attrition feeding on a fire that burns to destroy a destructive perdition (a pole of Asher) God! you have mercy when I have wraith on myself you give me grace when all I give is vengeance you let me into your house when all I desire is to be without a home You invite me to your table as I constrict my esophagus why is my heart against me if you come after me? Why do I shiver if you take up your cross? My heart is evil, it cannot let you in. You must break open my doors I cannot unlock them You must bind up the strong man and clear this temple with a whip dear Jesus, loose the evil in my body and renew my spirit so that I may remain in you and you in me dear Spirit of God. burn all of the fat from this marrow and let me stand if see me thou dost and to me is turned thy ear.
then let all fear melt as Easter rises and let every tear press light and sun and Let all praise to thou be sung and let all breath turn to your grace and let all eyes still seek your face and let all mouths voice their allegiance to the Lamb most holy led upon the altar to be slain in majesty and crowned with glory by the good creation for whom he saves and shed his lifeblood. Let us find our life in this death Let us be renewed by God’s holy breath Let us stand and proclaim Jesus is Lord
and know that his name is
Emmanuel